I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
