should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Life is so much better after having sex.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
