Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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