Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
