You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
