you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
