His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
stop calling my apartment porn island.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
