he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
operation have a gay friend backfired
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Semen is not good for contacts.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
