How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
