Someone shit on the floor
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
