he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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