so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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