Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
