Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
