i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
