She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
