Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
