Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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