I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
