kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
