Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
