there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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