Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
