I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
