Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
