Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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