i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
