Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
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