just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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