I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
