trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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