You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
