I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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