Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
