I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
