Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
