just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Even my vagina gasped.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
