idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
