So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
