I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
