Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
It was confusing and full of hummus
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
