So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
