Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
