I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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