On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
