If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
