When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
