She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
