did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
