We're like a lot better than the average bears
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
